


Worse Things Than Being In Love

by AemiliaFawn



Series: Malec Drabbles & Oneshots [14]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal, Bottom Magnus, Fingering, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oral, Rimming, Top Alec, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 13:30:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20797412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AemiliaFawn/pseuds/AemiliaFawn
Summary: Their wedding was everything they had ever dared to dream of. But perhaps their wedding night was just as special.





	Worse Things Than Being In Love

**Worse Things Than Being In Love**

The night had seemed to have both gone on forever and pass them by far too quickly, all at once. There had been drinks, laughter, joy and elation, and if Magnus licked his lips, he could still taste the fourth piece of wedding cake he may or may not have eaten that day. It had been pure perfection, from the flowers to the guests, from the cake to the Institute - a true fairytale, one which Magnus had never deemed possible up until now.

The best thing, of course, had been his groom.

They had danced until their feet had become so sore they could barely stand, and even though the day's excitement and wonder now came crashing down on them, it didn't stop them from smiling at each other while they watched their final guests leave around 2 in the morning, and it didn't stop Magnus from reaching out and kissing Alec deeply when they returned to look at their altar one final time.

His heart was so full of joy and love. He hadn't ever thought it was meant for him, feeling this way, having this kind of happiness in his life - yet here he stood with the man of his dreams. His _husband_.

They had kissed a million times before but this was new somehow - different now they were bound together for life. _Better_.

"I never thought I'd feel like this," Alec murmured against Magnus' lips. Their foreheads pressed together and their hands linked. Just hours ago they had stood here too - vowing to love each other, be there for one another, support one another in front of loving family and friends. No judgment, no drama, only positivity. Everything they could have asked for.

"It feels like a dream," Magnus whispered, as if he was afraid speaking too loud would wake the both of them up again - Magnus back in Edom, Alec back in Magnus' (their) apartment, alone and miserable. Alec's hands squeezed his and they looked at each other. Magnus could see his future in Alec's eyes. None of his past pleasures mattered to him anymore. They were bleak and boring. This was what he had wanted all along but never thought he'd have. No one had ever wanted Magnus to stay, everyone had always treated Magnus as something that was useful, but disposable. "I don't want it to end."

"It's not the end. Just the beginning," Alec said sincerely. He lowered his eyes, expression playful, maybe a bit teasing, "If you're not too tired, I think I'd like to get you out of that tux."

"I thought you liked me in a tuxedo?"

"I do. But I like what's underneath even more."

They grinned at each other. Magnus glanced over the room one final time. Tomorrow all the flowers would be gone, and the Institute will be full of all of its technological gadgets again. Yet Magnus knew that every time he would step foot into this building after today, all he would see would be the place where he became a married man. A man who was loved by another man so courageous, he literally went to hell and back to come save Magnus from an endless existence of pain and misery. No matter what would happen, no one would take this away from them.

"What are you thinking about?" Alec asked.

"Which one of us should carry the other over the treshold," Magnus said whimsically.

Alec chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"I'm thinking I'll let you do the honors, my feet are killing me," Magnus added.

"I'm glad that it's not my fault this time."

"Of course it's all your fault. Unless I danced the night away with some other tall, dark, handsome stranger."

"Handsome, huh?"

"Hmm. Very handsome."

Magnus' hands settled on the back of Alec's neck. They kissed again, leisurely, and Magnus' lips parted happily when Alec's tongue teased at the seam of them. He could taste the cake and champagne on his husband's lips, smell faint traces of Isabelle's perfume on his body from when Izzy had stolen a few dances with her brother. Magnus remembered gazing upon them and seeing family, something which he had never truly had up until now, and as he'd danced with Maryse and had thanked her for putting such a wonderful human being on the world, she had told him that it was almost like she'd made Alec just for Magnus. Her love, respect and appreciation had been hard-earned and entirely unexpected, and it still moved Magnus to tears every single time.

"Are you ready to go?" Alec whispered. Magnus opened his eyes and looked at all the flowers hanging from the ceiling and the glitter on the floor, taking pictures in his mind of the place where he had, after centuries of being a bachelor, gotten married at long last. This was the place where they had shared their first kiss as two confused, lovestruck men - this was the place where they had shared their first kiss as two certain, loving husbands. The memory of them would forever be engrained within these walls and floors, come what may. Magnus and Alec could never be erased from the New York Institute's long, eventful history.

He snapped his fingers over Alec's shoulders and gestured with his hands - a portal opened.

"Yes," Magnus decided, a little breathlessly, and he was about to move away when Alec stopped him.

"What - Alec-!" Magnus exclaimed, bursting out in laughter when Alec bent down and actually picked him up, one arm tucked around the warlock's shoulders and the other beneath his knees. Magnus clung onto Alec's shoulders, so close he could see the faint traces of lipstick from the kisses Maryse and Isabelle had pressed onto his cheeks before leaving. 

"What? You told me you wanted me to do it," Alec said innocently, though there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. Magnus snorted, letting the nephilim carry him into the portal with one final glance over their altar at the Institute.

When they arrived back home it was in the bedroom. Magnus let Alec carry him to the bed, and they were both laughing and smiling into each other's mouth when Alec tripped over something and caused them to land on a heap on the bed. 

"Are you alright, mister Lightwood?" Alec grinned. Magnus pulled him in for a kiss. Their new last names were officially Lightwood-Bane - they had both wanted to take on each other's name, so they settled for a way in between. Shocks of dizzying pleasure went through Magnus' body when Alec called him by his own last name. _Their_ last name.  
Though he'd been exhausted before, he could feel himself gradually come back to life again. He had missed this terribly. After returning from Edom they'd both been too drained to really be intimate and they'd tumbled straight into bed and slept for a solid 12 hours - today was only the second day Magnus was back home and it had been spent on planning the wedding. The past days when they'd broken up had been too long and too lonely.

Though not more than a week had passed, it felt like it had been an eternity since he had last been touched so sweetly.

"I will be once you take this off, mister Bane," Magnus breathed. He spread his legs so Alec could settle in between them and Alec rolled his hips into his.

"God, I missed you," Alec murmured. He fumbled with his jacket and Magnus pushed it off his broad shoulders, tugging at his bowtie. Both disappeared into a random direction. "Was so lonely without you."

Alec pulled Magnus up by the lapels and kissed him without giving him the chance to speak - pouring every bit of desperation and love he felt for Magnus in that moment into the kiss. Magnus moaned, feeling a little overwhelmed. He shuddered at the force Alec used to rob him of his jacket and while Alec's long fingers started making work of unbuttoning Magnus' waistcoat, his lips started kissing and teasing at Magnus' neck.

"I'm not going anywhere," Magnus sighed. "You're sort of stuck with - ah - me now, Alexander. For the rest of our lives."

Alec groaned when Magnus tugged him closer by the lapels. Magnus surrendered his body to him completely, spine arching off the sheets when finally all buttons were undone from both his waistcoat and the shirt underneath, and Alec started kissing around his collarbones while his calloused hands slid over Magnus' sides. Magnus had thought he'd never have this again. Never feel Alec loving him like this again, never feel the warmth of his skin or the weight of his body. He clung onto the Shadowhunter for as long as he could until Alec sat up a little.

"What, what is it?" Magnus asked dazedly.

"Just wanted to look at you," Alec said. Magnus hooked his fingers into Alec's suspenders and tugged him closer. "Never seen anyone as beautiful as you before."

"You should look into a mirror sometimes," Magnus suggested, feeling oddly vulnerable. "Now - I don't think I remember giving you permission to stop. Do that thing again."

"What thing?"

"That thing with your mouth, right here," Magnus pointed at the hollow of his throat. Alec kissed him there and Magnus purred when Alec helped him out of his shirt and waistcoat.

"There?" Alec asked.

"Hmm. I don't know. Little lower, maybe..."

Alec kissed down, catching on with Magnus. 

"Here?"

Magnus gasped when Alec took one of his nipples into his mouth. He could feel Alec's breath, hot puffs of air, brush over it when he pulled away a little and he could feel himself stiffen.

"Yeah," Magnus sighed. He closed his eyes and felt the familiar shift in them when his cat eyes came out. "Right there."

Alec teased him with his tongue, thumb coming up to rub at the other one so it wouldn't be neglected. Magnus was aching with how bad he wanted him and his hands tightened in tight fists in the back of Alec's shirt while his feet kicked off his designer shoes, most likely damaging them and not giving a damn at all.

"Need you," Magnus sighed.

"I'm here," Alec said.

"Need more of you," Magnus clarified, snapping open the little clasps of Alec's suspenders so he could slide them off and take off Alec's shirt. Once they were chest to chest Magnus whimpered - the feeling so familiar yet so different from all those times before. They were husbands now. This was gonna be his first time getting fucked by his husband and he needed it so bad he thought he might fall apart if he wouldn't get it soon. 

Alec too kicked off his shoes. He made work of taking off their pants - Magnus first, then his own, dragging both their underwear down along with it. Magnus whined low in his throat when Alec pressed his hands on the backs of Magnus' thighs and kept him exposed and open like that, licking his lips as though he was starving. Magnus cock laid thick and hard against his abs, and Magnus sobbed with relief when Alec nearly folded him in half and leaned over him, and started eating him out.

"Ah, ah, ah, Alec," Magnus choked, the dryness of Alec's hand around his cock nearly painful while his tongue soothed over Magnus' entrance in broad strokes. One of Magnus' knees hooked over Alec's shoulder now that he wasn't holding it up against Magnus' chest anymore. "Ah, that's - _yes_."

Alec's eyes fluttered shut in concentration while he worked, gently moving his hand up and down. His tongue was circling Magnus' entrance in agonizingly slow movements that made Magnus stiffle a soft whine into his hands. He just wanted it to start fucking him already. He must have said it out loud because Alec stopped and spoke up again.

“Don't you wanna go slow tonight?”

“No,” Magnus half-whined into his pillow. “Not the first time.”

He could practically feel Alec grin against his skin. Let him be smug. It wasn't like Magnus cared, he had every reason to be confident. Magnus' fingers tangled into Alec's hair when the Shadowhunter ate him out a little more fervently – no more teasing, no more gentleness, just pure ravenous movements that had Magnus make noises so loud and embarrassing he felt like he might die. Alec always did this like it gave him pleasure too, like there was nothing he'd rather be doing, and it just made Magnus' body sing with pure bliss.

How wonderful it was to be loved this thoroughly, this shamelessly.

“Alexander, Alec, Ale- ah,” Magnus whimpered when Alec's tongue finally pressed deep inside of him. He could feel it fucking in and out of him, Alec's lips sweetly kissing and nipping in between, and Magnus' body just completely surrendered to him when Alec's hand squeezed his cock. He could finish just from this, shameful as it was, but he didn't want that. He wanted to cum on Alec's cock. Wanted to make Alec feel how good he was fucking him, wanted to squeeze the cum out of Alec's cock and feel it fill him up -

“Fu - Alec, fingers - c'mon, I need -"

Magnus almost wanted to lament the loss of Alec's tongue - he didn't have the chance to do so, because there were fingers replacing it instantly. Wonderful thick, calloused, long fingers reaching deep inside of him. Alec had made him so wet that loud squelching noises came up every time he fucked them inside, deeper than the last time and grazing that wonderful spot inside of him.

And then he pulled them out entirely.

Magnus was almost disoriented when Alec started moving away, only managing a weak, _"Alec?"_.

Alec stumbled off the bed and cursed when he nearly tripped over a shoe.

"Hold on, I gotta - we need lube, should've thought of that before, I'm sorry -"

Alec looked rather dumbly at his hand when Magnus snapped his fingers and summoned a tube right in the Shadowhunter's grip, like he'd never seen magic being performed before. Of course, he had forgotten in the haze of sex that Magnus' magic had been restored - last time they'd done this they'd had to awkwardly fumble in bedside drawers for the damn lube because Magnus' magic had been gone.

But.

"Alec," Magnus said very calmly.

"Yeah?"

Magnus spread his legs further. Alec's eyes dropped to his cock.

"Get inside of me. Now."

Alec's eyes grew wide. He blinked - opened his mouth once, twice. This time he did trip and he landed face down on the foot of the bed, but if he had hurt himself then he sure didn't let it show.

Magnus snatched the lube from his hand and impatiently started spreading it all around his entrance, eyes closing and rolling back into his skull when he fucked a few fingers inside of himself. He heard the wet sound of Alec slicking himself up too and moaned into Alec's mouth when the nephilim kissed him.

"I love you," Alec told him, and then he pushed Magnus back into the bed again. Magnus' legs wrapped around his waist instinctively and Magnus bit his lip in anticipation when he felt Alec's cockhead drag over his hole.

"Yes," Magnus sighed. "Give it to me, I want it - ah!"

Magnus' spine arched off the bed when Alec finally pushed himself inside - Alec instantly went down and covered Magnus' body with his own, kissing and biting wherever he could reach while his hips rocked in small circular motions, just trying to break Magnus open. Magnus could hear himself, the small little gasps and whimpers and whines falling from his open mouth, and they seemed almost deafening in the otherwise quiet room. His hard cock was trapped between their bodies, hard muscle against hard muscle, nothing soft about his Alexander at all in this moment. He was all power and raw masculinity, and Magnus loved him for it. His nails dug deep into Alec's back, his heels nudging him, body opening up for him like it was meant to all along.

There had been a time Magnus had to reassure Alec that it was okay. That he wasn't hurt, that his gasps were of bliss, not pain.

But Alec knew Magnus well enough to know all the signs by now.

And slowly, he withdrew only to slam back inside again.

"Ah!" Magnus cried, over and over again the more Alec fucked inside of his body. So good. It felt so incredibly good. It was like a drug Magnus could never get bored of - all he wanted was Alec, just Alec, nothing else could ever matter to him the way Alec did..

Magnus clung onto Alec's shoulders tighter and buried his face into the Shadowhunter's neck, gasping and only capable of taking the deep fucking he was receiving. Their bodies moved in perfect unison, a secret dance between two lovers who knew each other best, and _dear God_, Magnus thought._ I had almost lost this forever. This intimacy. This love. How he must love me if he can take me apart so easily, how I love him for allowing him the power to do so._

When Magnus gasped this time, something akin to a sob accompanied it. No. He couldn't be thinking of that right now. Sorrow wasn't meant to mix with this kind of pleasure. Sorrow wasn't meant to feel this good. And yet...

Alec kissed him. He must taste the salt of Magnus' tears on his lips because he stopped altogether, and Magnus wanted to urge him to continue, that it had been good, that it had been amazing even, but just a pitiful sound fell from Magnus' lips. He felt cracked open. Wounded.

"Magnus?" Alec asked, and while he still sounded out of breath he suddenly seemed worried. "Hey. Hey. Look at me."

Magnus shook his head. He could feel them behind his closed lids - his cat eyes. It wasn't the reason why he was crying.

He was just so overwhelmed.

Alec stilled inside of him and Magnus made a soft discontent noise, holding onto the nephilim a little tighter. When Alec's hands cupped his face he turned his head and pressed a kiss against Alec's palm. He could feel Alec brush his tears away.

"Please don't stop," Magnus whispered, not really much he could say about it. He was embarrassing himself. He had just had the best day of his life, married the most perfect man on earth. He was safe. He was home. He had pleasure and love to keep him warm and breathless.

"Look at me," Alec said again and Magnus did. Alec's eyes briefly widened once he took in the familiar sight of Magnus' cat eyes - he'd thought he'd never see them again. Magnus knew they were a turn on for Alec but he was surprised when Alec pulled out. Somehow Alec understood Magnus completely in that moment. Knew exactly what Magnus needed.

"You're okay," Alec reassured him. "You're here with me. I'll always keep you safe."

Magnus' bottom lip trembled. He hated it and he crushed his mouth against Alec's, the kiss rough and salty with tears.

"Fuck me," Magnus said. "Please. Need to feel you. Need... need to know..."

_Need to know this is real._

Alec nodded. He helped turn Magnus around until Magnus was on his knees, spine arched and his face down into the pillow. He could feel Alec's fingers breach him briefly, pumping into him a few times until he was crying for more.

Magnus felt nothing short of relieved when Alec put his cock back into him.

It was never about the sex to him – the filth, the pleasure, the release. Those were beyond nice, and Magnus would never complain about them, but it was always about that connection and the physical feeling of just being loved so good, so right, he couldn't breathe. It didn't matter to Magnus who was on top, who was giving and who was receiving, as long as they were together. That's all he ever wanted.

Alec practically plastered himself to Magnus' back. His strong arms were around him, hips pumping forwards in deep, toe-curling stabs while he panted into Magnus' neck and Magnus bit into his pillow when he realized how loud he was being.

“Never again,” Alec breathed. “Never gonna let anyone take you away from me again. I promise, Magnus.”

Magnus could feel the energy of his magic pulse around his fingers like a heartbeat – even behind his closed lids he could see the threatening glow blue. He tried his best to take control of himself but he just couldn't, not with Alec fucking into him like this, not when he was saying those kinds of things, not when Magnus felt like he was being cracked straight in half.

“Always gonna be mine, and always gonna be yours,” Alec added and that did Magnus in. With a loud sob he came – he could feel the bed tremble beneath him, the ground shaking the way it did centuries ago when he'd been a clueless child with no idea how to take control of his magic. Pulses of downright cruel, wonderful pleasure shot through his body in a way that had Magnus writhing in the sheets, and when Alec stilled inside of him he could feel him cum too.

Bone-deep exhaustion overcame Magnus.

These past days, weeks, had all been too much for him – he was suddenly extremely drained emotionally and physically, and even though he had very much been looking forward to round 2...

“-awake?”

“'M awake,” Magnus replied, wincing when Alec pulled out and turned him around. He tiredly opened his golden eyes and Alec kissed him tenderly.

“Go back to sleep,” Alec told him tenderly. “Been a long day.”

“Been a long year,” Magnus yawned. “I'm sorry, Alexander – if you just give me a minute -”

“No. Just – that's not necessary.”

“But it's our wedding night,” Magnus argued weakly. He felt his make up grow sticky around his eyes and he made a dismissive gesture with his hand, dismissing it off his face and instantly feeling much better. He left Alec's release inside of himself though. Alec watched with a mixture of fascination and adoration. He kissed Magnus' forehead.

“I'm pretty sure you just caused an earthquake. Trust me – you need your sleep.”

Magnus could indeed hear several blaring sirens outside, of ambulances and fire trucks. He winced again.

“You're not gonna ask me why I was being a cry baby?”

“No. I get it.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. You've been through a lot these past few weeks and... and it's weird, isn't it? Suffering for so long and then suddenly, unexpectedly, having the best day of your life. At least, I hope it was the best day of your life. Because it was definitely mine.”

Magnus took a shaky breath. He brushed his ringed knuckles - his wedding ring now a new addition to that collection - over Alec's cheek. This man was his soulmate. There had never been anyone who had understood him, who had known him well enough to describe Magnus' emotions perfectly when Magnus wasn't even capable of finding the right words himself.

"It was mine too," he said. His voice was raw and wrecked, he didn't sound like himself at all. But then again, he supposed he was a whole different man now that he had Alec in his life, wasn't he? He was more responsible, loving, softer and kinder. All because a stuttering nephilim boy had saved his life at a rave one night.

"Come here," Magnus added, and Alec was instantly in his arms. He kissed the top of his head and held him tight.

He was exhausted. He could feel it in his very bones. Completely, and utterly depleted of magic, of emotion, of everything. He had felt and done and seen too much these past days. All he wanted was to cuddle with his boyfrie- no, _husband_, while he tried to recover enough to be capable of that second round of amazing sex he mentioned wanting before. They deserved that, did they not?

Magnus heard the buzzing of Alec's phone and held on a little tighter. Alec briefly tensed, like he considered getting up, and then he just nuzzled into the hollow of Magnus' throat and stayed right put. A brief little smirk played on Magnus' lips. Only a Greater demon could keep Alec away from his need for cuddles.

"We could do vow renewals in the places you mentioned, you know," Alec said randomly, sounding tired himself. Magnus looked at him in amusement.

"Vow renewals."

"Yeah. That's a thing right?"

His eyes were doing that thing again, where they shone, looked a little brighter, younger. Magnus couldn't look away from them.

"I think you're just addicted to confession your love for me in public," Magnus dryly said, brushing away a strand of hair from Alec's brow. His own eyes still stung from crying. He hadn't changed them back just yet, but he knew Alec didn't mind. Alec preferred him like this- being his bare self.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Not at all," Magnus kissed Alec, "I suppose there's worse things than being in love."

"Yeah? Like what?"

Magnus pretended to ponder deeply. The truth was that being in love was a terrible thing. Terrifying, all-consuming - like a parasite that would eat at you until there was nothing to give. Love demanded surrender and sacrifice, it created obsession and craving. Mankind has waged wars and terrible acts of cruelty all in the name of love.

But love was also what turned houses into homes. It was what created life and beauty in this world - kindness, unbreakable bonds, and added meaning to this hard existence. Love was very much like a double-edged sword. But once it consumed you, all you could really do was let it, and hope it would lead to something good. This was something Magnus had learned a long time ago.

"...I'd still have to say acid washed jeans," Magnus said lightheartedly. Alec rolled his eyes like Magnus was being incredibly stupid, but his broad, radiant smile told Magnus the joke was well-received and positively appreciated.

Magnus supposed he could have told Alec how terrifying he still found it to love another human being this wholly, this thoroughly and entirely - that even though their love was pure and true, it was more powerful than anything Magnus had ever felt before and sometimes it felt like he might die from the sheer force of it. They now knew that they couldn't live without one another. It was frightening to even think about how empty his life had been before Alec had played a part in it when now, he couldn't even imagine a future without him.

He knew Alec would be kind and hold him, and tell him that all those feelings were entirely mutual. They would kiss tenderly and lay in the darkness, talking about their futures together as they held hands.

But they had cried enough these past weeks.

All Magnus wanted for now, was to hear his husband laugh a little more, see him frown a little less. They had suffered enough.

They were newlyweds, for God's sake.

It was finally their time to be happy.


End file.
